Wednesday, December 19, 2007

me as a gift

I pass by this prose today while surfing the net. It is entitled "Persons Are Gifts... Wrapped". It was beautiful and I wouldn't just let the moment pass by not sharing this to all of you. Not only did it inspire me and feel more the Christmas essence, but it somehow made me rethink of my own self--If persons are gifts, have I been a gift to others? Have I been presentable enough or wrapped beautifully for others to feel happy seeing me? Do people surrounding me see me as a gift or just a disgrace? And beyond my wrapper, do they enjoy the true me? I often avoid questions like these... for sometimes it makes me feel I'd be biased answering it or I'd be over- or underrating my own self. But, today I tried answering it as honest as I could. After hours of self-meditation, I found myself happy of what I am today. I can say, I am a gift. Not one of those beautifully and perfectly wrapped though, but I believe I am one of those just wrapped ordinarily, enough for others to see and perhaps, deserving for a second look. I was once wrapped tightly, sealed and almost unwelcoming. I think we all were. We have our own secrets, our own self that we try to hide from others. Eventually, we choose to whom we share this hidden self and let some people see the true identity. In the long run, we find confidence in sharing to others who we really are, trying to get away from the wrapper that was once tightly done. After all, the wrapping is not the gift, right? What's in it is all that matters.

To be a gift is being a gift to oneself first--accepting the real you, understanding own uniqueness and loving the true you. Like what they always say, nobody's perfect. Along the way, we make mistakes. Some would see it as a disgrace, a gift flawed and should be discarded. But we shouldn't lose hope. We should learn how to forgive our own self. Sometimes it is in flaws that makes a gift more worthy. Many of us continues to be a living proof of a disgrace turning into graceful gift. And this is how all of us should end up to be--a graceful gift. As soon as we get to accept our own self, we then become a gift for others; and every meeting of a person is an exchange of gifts. I for one have become a precious gift to my family, my friends and to all who loves me, and they have been a great gift for me too. They have always been there for me from the start, and I know they will be there for me even at the end. I may not be the perfect daughter or the perfect friend and lover, but I have always tried to give all that I can give not expecting something in return. I always believe in the goodness of people, that deep within each one is the likeness of God. I myself am good. And this goodness is a great gift one can give to his neighbors or to strangers. Yet, we must always remember that exchange of gifts is a two way thing--the one that gives the gift and the one who receives it. When one gives a gift, there is always that love and joy of giving. There's that happiness in losing what you have just to give to others, and there's that bliss in surrendering your whole self for the one you love. This is the real essence in gift-giving. When one receives a gift there is that sense of fulfillment for a need or a want may have been met. There is always that gratefulness for such godsend and there's that gladness in accepting the gift as a blessing and a grace, no further question asked. This is the real essence of receiving gift. How one gives and receives the gift matters, for in one way or another, we ourselves as a gift can be a giver and a receiver too. It is a part of a whole package of being a gift.

As we celebrate this season of giving, may we always remember that the gift of self matters most. Our mere presence is something people can treasure. Be one with me in my vow to be a gift not only to the ones I love but to all I meet; for a simple smile to a true human service can make us a graceful gift. I hope that
we all get to be a gift not only for the holidays but everyday of our lives.

Merry Christmas everyone!

Tuesday, December 4, 2007

bad news...

I have never been an aficionado in politics. I find the world of politics erratic and ghastly, the more when we speak about the government of the Philippines. Sad to say, our government has been known for its rot system, full of feud and massive corruption, moreover, it is always in tribulation. Indeed nauseating! It somehow made me feel ashame of being a Filipino. I just might be one of those Filipinos who are sick of their own country and feel that nothing will and can change in their lifetime, so there's nothing left to do but go for the exit.

I never deem to write anything about Philippine politics, not until what happened last week--the failed mutiny and conspired coup d'etat of Sen. Antonio Trillanes IV. I never really understood this display of tantrums. Before this, I found Sen. Trillanes a protagonist, one of those men who would go for a righteous victory. What a faux pas! He is just like any other misguided leaders, seated in our government, struggling for more power. Very disappointing. It is simply unimaginable for a Senator to barge in Manila Peninsula and hide behind the populace in order to "be heard" and evade a court order. Along with the officers of Magdalo, Brig. Gen. Danilo Lim and Capt. Nicanor Faeldon, the (supposed to be) "great" rebellion happened--a six-hour standoff at a luxury hotel. This is the second time around he (Sen. Trillanes) and his cohorts struck, first at Oakwood and now Manila Peninsula. Uhhmmm.. good choice of places, for them, but not for the masses. Clearly, this rebellion is about them, and not for the good of the Filipinos, whom they say they represent. They are simply criminals. These public officers committed crimes against public order, rising tumultuously in order to attain by force intimidation. To whom? For whom? And how was this an excellent action? How babyish?! We get your their point! They hate Pres. Arroyo, and I'm sure many do. They should have respected the law, for the law are the Filipinos themselves.
The PNP and AFP are right for not making martyrs out of these powerful shams. No one should. No one should romanticize them. Who do they think they are? God's gift for the Filipino people??? They are more of a "fake messiah".

Tuesday, November 27, 2007

happy endings

I have always been a fan of romantic films. I get to watch them for many times and still have the same feeling as I was watching them for the first time. Somehow these films awake the inner child in me, wherein a simple goodbye could make me shed rivers of tears, and wherein a simple exchange of hellos from lovers could make me feel so loved and in love too. What I like most in this romantic films is that it makes me believe that happy ending is real and not just any fantasy. Many would say that in real life, happy endings and ever after are just a figment of imagination. And that happy endings only exist in songs, in movies and in poems. Well, I strongly disagree to this unenthusiastic perspective. I deemed it real, or at least I want to believe that happy endings and ever after do exist. I cannot blame people to feel pessimistic about it. Looking at what surrounds us now--indifference, infidelity, poverty, corruption, catastrophes and many twisted values, gives us a slim chance in living a happy life. But, we all should remember that in every negative piece is a positive countenance. All is a matter of choice. We all are born free--free to choose on how to live our own life, free to decide on what force to follow and free to choose the type of ending that we want. I say, we go for the happy ending. Why settle for less? It would not be a smooth path though, for along the way, we may lose something important or someone we value most. Yet, what is essential is that we get to stand up and continue the life's journey with dignity and moral intact. Happy ending doesn't always mean having everything you want, or having all the material things one desires. Happy ending is having what is vital. It is having what completes you. If all of us believes that happy endings do exist, then all of us would strive for it and remain hopeful. Everyday would then be stepping stone for that great happiness in the end. I am sure it is worth it all! =D

Sunday, November 25, 2007

300 Rules!!!

"No retreat, No surrender!"

No words can give justice to this movie... It was simply the BEST!!!!!

Saturday, November 24, 2007

beowulf the movie

Curious of what the Beowulf movie can give, I watched it today with my sister. I am not really a fan of classical epics like this, but the animation of this movie made me look forward in watching it, and hey, many said "Beowulf (Ray Winstone)" was animated and 'sculpted' really good; and there I was trying to see if the 'many' were telling the truth, hehehe! Anyway, here's what I can say about the movie...

The animation was very good. Movements were pragmatic and appearance of the cast physically resembled the real ones. And yes, the 'many' were telling the truth... you should see how good the body of Beowulf was sculpted, hehe! Fight scenes were very good! But I believe the animation would have been really great using 3D vision. Unfortunately, we were watching it in 2D, hehe! I would rate their animation 4 in a scale of 5 (having 5 as the perfect score). Comparing it to 'The Polar Express', this was a lot better. However, there were some dragging parts (for me). I was sleepy in some plots, and there were words that were hard to understand, maybe because of the accent and unfamiliar terms used. It was even frustrating trying to cope with what they were saying (Gosh! I need to study na jud for IELTS, grrrrr!). And for those not familiar with the story behind Beowulf epic, you should do some reading before trying to watch it. I was lost at the first part of the movie... trying to connect all the characters and what role they are playing, but eventually, you'll see the connections. I believe there were deviations from the real story behind Beowulf, but it was good. It made the story even more conceivable. The Beowulf discussed during my college days was a lot different. As far as I can remember, Beowulf really did fought the mother of Grendel and she died. In this movie they made a twist ( a good one, hehe!). They made it look like all Danish Kings were under the curse of Grendel's mother and Beowulf was one of them. Grendel's mother was "shatter-proof" that even Beowulf cannot destroy. It was quite good, but if I was Beowulf, I think I'd be offended, hehe! But then all of this deviations are for the sake of good screenplay, and they nailed it!

Overall, Beowulf the movie is very good. However, for those seeking movies plainly for entertainment, fun and those that are undemanding, this is not for you. =)

Wednesday, November 21, 2007

my day

I again, don't know what to write today... I think I'll just give you a run down of how my day is.

I had a good day today, especially that I started it with a chat with DEhkNeeS, hehe! He was on-call for duty today, unfortunately, he had to go for his work, so I'm left basically with nothing else to do but miss him, hehe! Anyway, I prepared all my personal documents for my job application to GCGMH. Finally, I have decided to go on with the training GCGMH is offering. I'm really getting tired of just being at home. Though I'm reading books or studying for NCLEX, I still feel the need for me to move more and also I think that this training is good for me, not only will I gain experience but also improve my skills in this line of career. I really hope I can be one of the trainees, especially that they are only getting the top ten of all the applicants. Help me cross fingers for it. I was also delighted to know that my friend DIyhAN was also applying for it. I really hope we can make it. After submitting all my requirements, I went home and spent the rest of the day studying. Nothing much really happened to me today... And as I am writing this now, I'm looking forward for Marimar, hehehe! and I'm also downloading the movie 300... The movie was really a hit, as for me, you'll read my review as soon as I watched it.

This all I can say for now... Thanks for stopping by pips. God bless everyone!

Sunday, November 18, 2007

my prayer...

Hi guys! Nothing much happen to me today. Still, I have the colds but a little better now. I don't know what to write really, hehe! I think I'll just share to you this prayer. This is a prayer for all of us nurses. I believe in this prayer and hope you too would say this before holding patients. Thank you for stopping by...


Lord I pray to you, that I will discover through the pain and torment
the strength to love with grace and humor.
May I discover through doubt and anguish
the strength to live with dignity and holiness.
Allow me to discover through suffering and fears
the strength to move toward healing.
May it come to pass that I will be restored to health and vigor
so my life dwells in your glory

Grant me wellness of body, spirit and mind
So, I may find in this transformation the passing moments,
the meaning of life, all trials and sacrifices,
and opportunities to live and be loved by others.
Grace me with so much willingness to help,
and be helped by others as well.
Give me the grace and willingness to deeply calm others,
and be calmed in return.

Grant me Your divine wisdom,
to discern graciously in moments of doubts and dilemma.
Grant me serenity to accept the things I find unacceptable.
Bless me with Your divine guidance,
so I may be able to become instrument of your love and goodness
In times of desertion,
give me the courage and strength to move on,
with a joyful and a grateful heart
I ask to fill me with faith to inspire, hands to heal and heart to understand and love.

I thank you very much, for your love and forgiveness Lord
I offer to you the rest of my days.


Friday, November 16, 2007

heaven and hell

After studying my review book, which is a little unpleasant due to my runny nose, I continued watching some remaining episode of the Ghost Whisperer today. As I watch on from one episode to another, I came to realize that this series is actually instilling its viewer a new positive outlook on death. And not only that, this series showed its viewer a new insight on what life is after death. My faith have taught me that death is inevitable. All is in control of the Highest One. And that after death is the judgment to where a soul should go--to heaven or hell. Heaven is a place for the good ones and those flawed goes to hell. But, who knows for sure what is on the other side? No one knows for sure whats gonna happen after death, and I come to think that what if all are meant to be in heaven, to be together in that one great light. What if heaven and hell are not just places, but a disposition of one being. I'd like to think that all who died would be in one place, all equal and peaceful to one another--a heaven indeed. Heaven could not just be a place above land,but it could also be a state of being--a reconciliation with ones self and others. Heaven could mean fulfillment of one purpose in life. Heaven could just plainly mean resting in peace. On the other hand, hell could be more than just a place under the earth, but could be somewhere or anywhere here, or a state of being inappropriate. Hell could be a state of being lost, somewhere one doesn't belong. Like when one dies, he is supposed to crossover to a light, to a place for all who rested in peace, and yet one would choose to stay behind--a place where he doesn't belong anymore, and this could be a hell for him. Yet, why would one choose to stay even if it would be a hell for him? Unfinished business I supposed. I'd like to believe that hell isn't a place for punishment. God is so good, that He would just make hell a place for one to find peace and later be able to crossover to heaven. It would be a time for that one soul to reconcile with the living, forgive all the wrongs done unto him and ask forgiveness to those he had done wrong. And when all is said and done, peace can be found and one would surely feel fulfillment--the time to crossover to the Light.

What a happy thought, isn't it? hehe! Like what I said, no one really knows about the life after death. All that I can leave to all you readers out there is that we make the best out of our lives. We only live once, be good, be happy, be holy. So if heaven do exist, I'd like to meet you there. =D

Thursday, November 15, 2007

anniversaries--a need...

I spent the whole afternoon today watching Ghost Whisperer season 2. I have been a big fan of it since ever and I like their stories--touching and some really spooky, hehe! Moreover, I love the love story behind it, and for all the romantics out there, episode 8 of season 2 is a must see. There was a part there that I cried a river, hehe! I felt fullness in my heart that there was nothing left for me to do but cry. It was about the love story of Melinda and Jim. Melinda was very busy preparing for their anniversary, she bought the most beautiful gift she can imagine and it symbolized the first date they had. On the other hand, Jim was very busy with work and all, and Melinda couldn't help but feel like Jim was forgetting their big day. When the big day came, Melinda just give the gift to Jim. Jim who seemed clueless just opened it and asked what the occasion is. Melinda was a little pissed especially that Jim just let her get his coat because he is going somewhere. And when Melinda went to the closet, a gift fell down on her. Melinda then couldn't stop crying... and Jim was there preparing their dinner. Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyy! I know it is a very usual plot in a love story, but it did really get into me. Most of the women out there make a big deal out of anniversaries, even monthsaries or any day that would make them cherish special moments that may come into the lives of a couple. I am even one of them. And it is sad to say, that some men seemed to not really give importance to this, not like the women do (this is just based on experiences from friends).

What is in anniversaries anyway? Anniversary is a day that commemorates or celebrates a past event that occurred on the same day of the year as the initial event. In the lives of a couple, it may be the date of start of their life together, or any other memories that are meant to be remembered; that if not for that day, everything would have been the other way around. It wouldn't hurt for anyone just to remember special occasions once in a while. How you get to remember it somehow measures how you treasure that someone in your life, and that even as days or years gone by, there is still that spark, that glint, that eagerness for one to hold on to what made a relationship special. I believe that anniversaries or monthsaries are somethings that are not to be taken for granted in any relationship. It is just one day--a day that may change a lifetime, a day that would make you realize the good you had in your life, a day of chance to tell someone how much she/he mean to you, a day to say sorry, a day to be thankful for the blessings, a day to rekindle a loving relationship... Anniversary is not just any other wants in our life... sometimes it is a need for a relationship to be strong, for a relationship to last a lifetime; and who wouldn't like that...

For all of us lovers out here and there... it is not just anniversaries that are not to be taken for granted. What is a day compared to the years of being together? It is not only during anniversaries that there is a reason to celebrate togetherness, or oneness. Everyday of being together is special, already a reason to celebrate and be thankful of it. Let's make everyday an anniversary... everyday of staying in love, everyday of living for the one you love.

I love you DEhkNeeS... I wouldn't miss this chance to tell that I do... Thank you for not missing anniversaries and monthsaries! hehehe! Mwahhhhhhh! i love you more.

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

"I am gonna be a mommy"

For the past three days, a dear friend of mine confided me a very interesting and very good, but confusing (for her) news. I went out today with her to see a doctor. Waiting patiently, we talked and I can see that she is still in shock about everything. All seemed unbelievable... not until it was confirmed through an ultrasound. "I am gonna be a mommy...," she said. I have never conceived before, but observing my friend, it seems like I was enduring the same thing. I felt excitement, happiness and elation... at the same time I felt butterflies inside my stomach, kulba kaayo jud... and I was sure my friend was feeling four-fold mine. Gosh!!! I was putting myself in her shoes, and it made me feel worst, hehe! Confusing it is on how to tell your family about it... especially when everything seemed illegitimate. Questions like 'how my parents would react?' played both in our minds. There was that fear that everything would result to panic and commotion. But then, it cannot be denied that all of this is part of parenthood.

Every woman in this world, who values their true essence, lives in one sure fate--motherhood. Some may have dreaded the day it came unplanned, but to many, it is a blessing, a fulfillment of one purpose in life. I believe that positive perspective like this is directly proportional to ones maturity. I have seen many of my cousins who had become teen-mothers who have had more than their share of out-of-wedlock births and at the same time marital upheavals. Maturity indeed plays a big role in conceiving up to parenthood. And, with this maturity is the understanding that motherhood and fatherhood always comes together, and that it takes two for a new individual to grow and the love that binds them makes them a true family. In the middle of all this whirlwind of emotions, I can't help but feel envy (slight ra pud, hehe!). There has always been my one great fear: Will I be able to give my husband, in the future, children? In the long gene lines of my ancestors, 20% was not able to conceive, and I really hope that this is not genetic. With all the treatment I have undergone in the past, there was that risk of not being able to bear children, and I really hope that it was a slim chance. Sayang kasi... I was quite sure that I'd be a great mom and my partner would be a great dad too. But like what I always say to my friend, everything is a blessing. God's will always prevail.

To my friend... Congratulations! This new phase of your life came at the right time. Don't ever think otherwise. This is a no turning-back thing... face it with pride. Know that your friends will always be there for you and your baby. God bless your family! Mwaaahhhhh!

Monday, November 12, 2007

Marimar Addict!!!

I woke up this morning still with the frustration for not having watched the marimar episode yesterday. I was there in front of my TV, waiting patiently for 'Marimar' to start, and sa kasamaang palad, nakatulog po ako, grrrrrrrrrrr! I woke up around midnight, with just I-witness on my tv talking about black gold. It sucks! not being able to watch your most-awaited tv series... haaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyy! I wonder what happened last night, grrrrrrrrr! Guess, that made me a certified MARIMAR ADDICT! hehehe! I was then a full pledge 'kapamilya', but because of this show I am now a kapamilya and a kapuso, hehe! I really love Marimar. The whole casting is great (especially the Marimar and Sergio roles), the pacing of scenes is fast and not boring at all, and it is fun to watch especially with the dogs talking too, hehehe! And I really don't think that it's 'JOLOGS' to watch this show, that's why I am proud to tell everyone that I do watch this show. Marimar is proving to be the most-watched evening series on Pinoy TV these days. And FYI, Marian Rivera (Marimar Perez/Bella Aldama) is not just like any other actresses out there... She has class and moreover, educated. She graduated BS Psychology at La Salle University (Shocks! Addict na jud ko! hehehe!), indeed an excellent role model of our youth today. More power to MARIMAR show!!! Keep up the good work. And to those who haven't tried watching it... it's time that you do try... I assure you, di ka magsisisi. =P

Hello Everyone!

Let me start my blog with a simple introduction... Uhmmm... This may take some space here, but I assure you, I'm someone worth knowing (I guess, hehehe!) Anyway, you can call me GuhLADeeS... this blog is mainly for my share of ideas about anything in this world. I'm a proud daughter of my parents (of course! hehe!). I'm also sharing my life now with someone very and extra special--my 'pangga' DEhkNeeS. My parents, my boyfriend and my friends are the significant people of my life now. And I always treasure them and I love taking care of them. I am basically God-fearing. I am a person of good moral and a major pro-life! I love taking on new adventures. I love exploring oceans and the seas. I love reading books and watching TV too. I love collecting things, like bags, shoes, slippers, baseball caps, stuff toys... anything pleasing to my senses, hehe! I love cooking, I love experimenting on new recipes. I'm a clean freak, moreover, I think I have a type A personality, hehe! I just think so, hehe! I have always wanted to travel the world. Me and my best friend, JhANNAh, have always wanted to see the world. We plan to go to Japan and see true ninjas, hehe! to Europe and meet the Queen, hehe! even to Iceland just to be one of the happiest people in the whole world, hehe! and many, many more... I love spending time with people I love. I am happy with my life now... though I haven't landed on my dream job yet (USRN), I am happy to where I am now--in Bohol, with my family and friends, and having the greatest man in my life (DEhkNeeS).