Wednesday, November 14, 2007

"I am gonna be a mommy"

For the past three days, a dear friend of mine confided me a very interesting and very good, but confusing (for her) news. I went out today with her to see a doctor. Waiting patiently, we talked and I can see that she is still in shock about everything. All seemed unbelievable... not until it was confirmed through an ultrasound. "I am gonna be a mommy...," she said. I have never conceived before, but observing my friend, it seems like I was enduring the same thing. I felt excitement, happiness and elation... at the same time I felt butterflies inside my stomach, kulba kaayo jud... and I was sure my friend was feeling four-fold mine. Gosh!!! I was putting myself in her shoes, and it made me feel worst, hehe! Confusing it is on how to tell your family about it... especially when everything seemed illegitimate. Questions like 'how my parents would react?' played both in our minds. There was that fear that everything would result to panic and commotion. But then, it cannot be denied that all of this is part of parenthood.

Every woman in this world, who values their true essence, lives in one sure fate--motherhood. Some may have dreaded the day it came unplanned, but to many, it is a blessing, a fulfillment of one purpose in life. I believe that positive perspective like this is directly proportional to ones maturity. I have seen many of my cousins who had become teen-mothers who have had more than their share of out-of-wedlock births and at the same time marital upheavals. Maturity indeed plays a big role in conceiving up to parenthood. And, with this maturity is the understanding that motherhood and fatherhood always comes together, and that it takes two for a new individual to grow and the love that binds them makes them a true family. In the middle of all this whirlwind of emotions, I can't help but feel envy (slight ra pud, hehe!). There has always been my one great fear: Will I be able to give my husband, in the future, children? In the long gene lines of my ancestors, 20% was not able to conceive, and I really hope that this is not genetic. With all the treatment I have undergone in the past, there was that risk of not being able to bear children, and I really hope that it was a slim chance. Sayang kasi... I was quite sure that I'd be a great mom and my partner would be a great dad too. But like what I always say to my friend, everything is a blessing. God's will always prevail.

To my friend... Congratulations! This new phase of your life came at the right time. Don't ever think otherwise. This is a no turning-back thing... face it with pride. Know that your friends will always be there for you and your baby. God bless your family! Mwaaahhhhh!

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